Ep 20. Stalking with Debbie Whyte APCC, ATR-BC (she/her)
Even if you’re just getting clues that you may have a stalker, things can escalate and get very scary. Unwanted phone calls or hang-ups, surprise run-ins, or lots of texts and DMs, and it can quickly turn threatening. If you’re feeling uncomfortable, pay attention! Feelings like Hopelessness, Irritation or being on edge can be signs that something is wrong, so take these feelings seriously. Share with your friends and family about what is going on. Make sure you document every time the person contacts you. Reach out to the resources below for actionable legal help and safety support.
Understanding stalking is crucial in recognizing and addressing behaviors that can lead to serious emotional distress and harm. Stalking is a pattern of unwanted and repeated attention, harassment, contact, or any other behavior that instills fear or concern in an individual. It goes beyond a one-time interaction and often involves persistent actions that cause the victim to feel unsafe or threatened. Stalking behaviors can encompass various actions such as following someone, unwanted communication (calls, texts, emails), showing up uninvited, surveillance, spreading rumors, or any intrusive behavior that disregards personal boundaries.
Stalking can happen to anyone regardless of age, gender, sexual orientation, or background, and it can occur in various relationships –
from former partners to acquaintances, strangers, or even family members. Contrary to common misconceptions, stalking isn't merely a consequence of romantic interest or an overzealous pursuit. It's a serious and often frightening pattern of behavior that can lead to severe psychological trauma for the victim. Stalkers may exhibit obsessive or controlling behaviors and might not acknowledge the impact their actions have on the victim's well-being.
It's important to recognize the impact of stalking on the victim's mental health and overall sense of safety.
Victims often experience intense fear, anxiety, and stress, which can disrupt their daily lives. The constant feeling of being watched or followed can result in hypervigilance, sleep disturbances, depression, and even post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Stalking can interfere with the victim's ability to work, socialize, or feel secure in their own environment. These behaviors can be extremely distressing and should never be dismissed or taken lightly.
When dealing with stalking behaviors, it's crucial to take immediate action to protect oneself.
Documenting incidents, preserving evidence (such as messages, emails, or gifts), informing trusted individuals, and reaching out to law enforcement or legal authorities are essential steps. Creating safety plans, changing routines, blocking or restricting communication, and seeking support from victim advocacy groups or mental health professionals can provide crucial assistance and guidance.
In LGBTQ+ relationships, stalking behaviors may manifest similarly to those in heterosexual relationships, but there can be unique dynamics to consider. Stalking in LGBTQ+ relationships might involve threats of outing someone's sexual orientation or gender identity without their consent, especially in cases where one partner may not be open about their identity to others. Perpetrators might exploit the societal stigma or lack of acceptance surrounding LGBTQ+ identities as a means of control, coercion, or manipulation within the relationship. Additionally, the fear of being disbelieved or encountering discrimination when seeking help can add further complexities for LGBTQ+ individuals experiencing stalking, often leading to underreporting or hesitation in seeking support. It's essential to approach stalking within LGBTQ+ relationships with sensitivity to these specific dynamics and to provide tailored support that addresses these nuances.
Therapy can be an essential resource for individuals affected by stalking, providing a safe space to process emotions, manage anxiety, and regain a sense of control over their lives. Therapists offer tools and strategies to cope with the emotional aftermath of stalking, helping victims rebuild their confidence and establish boundaries. Additionally, therapy can aid in identifying safety measures and addressing the trauma associated with stalking incidents.
In conclusion, understanding stalking goes beyond recognizing its definition; it involves acknowledging its profound impact on victims' lives. Stalking is a serious and harmful behavior that can lead to significant psychological distress and disrupt the victim's sense of safety. Awareness, early intervention, and seeking support are crucial steps in addressing stalking behaviors and empowering victims to regain control of their lives. Therapy serves as a vital tool in aiding victims of stalking to navigate the emotional turmoil and reclaim their sense of well-being and security.
Resources mentioned in this episode:
National Domestic Violence Hotline 800-799-7233
https://cityattorney.lacity.gov/domestic-violence
https://www.counselforjustice.org/domestic-violence
https://www.lacourt.org/division/familylaw/FL0035.aspx
Therapist Bio: Debbie Whyte APCC, ATR is an art therapist with Open Space Therapy Collective. Debbie specializes in working with teens and young adults who are seeking to find their voice.
To find more from Debbie visit:
https://www.openspacetherapycollective.com/meet-debbie
https://www.instagram.com/openspacetherapycollective/
https://www.tiktok.com/@openspacetherapy
Content warning: stalking, domestic violence, police interaction