How to Protect Your Mental Health When Being Misgendered
Today, let's discuss a challenging aspect of our lives: misgendering. Being misgendered can deeply affect our mental health, and it's essential to have strategies in place to cope with these experiences.
What Misgendering Is
Misgendering occurs when someone refers to us using incorrect gender pronouns or labels. Whether intentional or unintentional, it can be hurtful and invalidating.
For many of us, our gender identity is a core aspect of who we are. It's how we see ourselves and how we want to be seen by others. When someone misgenders us, it can feel like a rejection of our identity and a dismissal of our lived experiences. It can evoke feelings of dysphoria, shame, and anger, and it can have a significant impact on our mental health.
Misgendering can take many forms. It may involve using the wrong pronouns (such as she/her, he/him, or they/them) or using gendered language that does not align with our identity. It can happen in everyday interactions, such as at work, school, or social gatherings, as well as in more formal settings, like doctor's offices or legal documents.
Strategies to help protect your mental well-being when faced with misgendering:
Unfortunately, misgendering is all too common for many members of the LGBTQ+ community, particularly transgender and non-binary individuals. Despite our best efforts to assert our identities and educate others about our pronouns, misgendering can still occur due to ignorance, prejudice, or indifference.
So, how can we protect our mental health when faced with misgendering? Here are some strategies to consider:
Practice self-compassion: Remind yourself that being misgendered does not diminish your identity or worth. Treat yourself with kindness and understanding, recognizing that the fault lies with the person misgendering you, not with you.
Educate when safe: If you feel comfortable, gently educate others about your gender identity and preferred pronouns. Many people may not be familiar with non-binary identities or may simply need a reminder. However, remember that it's not your responsibility to educate everyone you encounter.
Surround yourself with support: Build a support network of friends, family, and allies who respect and affirm your gender identity. Having people who use your correct pronouns and validate your identity can provide a source of comfort and strength during difficult times.
Set boundaries: It's okay to set boundaries with people who consistently misgender you. Let them know how their actions impact you and what you need from them moving forward. Setting boundaries can help protect your mental health and preserve your sense of self.
Practice grounding techniques: When you're feeling dysphoric or upset after being misgendered, practice grounding techniques to help bring yourself back to the present moment. Deep breathing, mindfulness meditation, or focusing on sensory experiences can all be helpful strategies.
Seek professional support: If misgendering is taking a toll on your mental health, consider seeking support from a therapist who specializes in LGBTQ+ issues. Therapy can provide a safe space to process your emotions, explore coping strategies, and build resilience. We’d be happy to help, so reach out to us!
Remember, you are not alone in your experiences of misgendering
Many members of the LGBTQ+ community share similar struggles and understand the impact it can have on mental health. By practicing self-compassion, surrounding yourself with support, setting boundaries, and seeking professional help when needed, you can navigate misgendering with resilience and strength. Take care of yourself, and remember that your identity is valid and worthy of respect.